Kindergarten is for chumps

Edward & Edward Jr. inspect Soviet aircraft

Edward Junior marvels at the “specs” of the M-50 Supersonic Strategic Missile-Carrying Bomber

“Tomorrow we’re going to the Central Air Force Museum,” I told Edward Junior as I tucked him into bed on Tuesday evening.

“But Papa, what about kindergarten?”

“Listen to me very carefully, Edward Junior: kindergarten is a scam.”

“Yes, Papa.”

Yesterday your attentive Moscow correspondent was typing an article about Russia’s completely predictable participation in the UN’s Summit on Sustainable Development Goals, but then it suddenly occurred to him: Does anyone actually want to read another article about space lizards and SDGs? Highly doubtful.

Here is a short photo essay about airplanes instead.

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Edward Junior and I arrived at the Central Air Force Museum at around 11 am, where we were greeted with a visual cocktail of Great Patriotic War/Z iconography.

Okay.

But inside the museum everything was much more serene.

Edward Junior was amazed.

A great many planes.

The museum also featured this very instructive diorama:

Let’s get a zoom-in on that railway wagon.

Okay.

A Soviet soldier blogging in the forest

A lady, a horse, and a wounded guy, queuing for priority boarding to Dubai.

There was also Multipolar Merch….

…and even some artifacts from the Unipolar World Order.

American uniforms captured by the Russians on eBay

A Korean War exhibit featuring an American pilot mugging some Koreans in American uniforms???

A script that American pilots used to explain why they were spreading freedom 10,000 km from home.

“I am an American and I don’t speak Russian. I need food, shelter, and help. I won’t hurt you and I have no ill intentions against your people. If you help me, my government will reward you,” reads an abridged version of How To Win Friends and Influence People issued to US pilots during the Korean War.

There were more planes lounging outside.

A heavy transport helicopter operated by Aeroflot (1967)

Pretty cool, no?

Edward Junior requested an electronic device so that he could document for posterity all the flying contraptions around us. I gave him my phone that I never use (I only use my beloved Pad). This devious 6-year-old then proceeded to harass your correspondent with endless photographs, like some kind of gnome-paparazzo.

I reciprocated by aiming my Pad’s camera at his subordinate face—a tit-for-tat measure, to use the proper geopolitical lingo—resulting in a taking-photos-of-each-other-taking-photos-of-each-other photo-race, ultimately ending in Mutually Assured Embarrassing Photo-Destruction.

No respect for his elders.

Please just stop.

Your correspondent’s favorite aircraft was the Mi-10 helicopter-crane, a jolly metal grasshopper that can haul up to 15 tons:

The Mi-10 friendly helicopter-crane

Just look at this amiable helicopter-crane. The kind of helicopter-crane you’d have a beer with, to borrow the popular phrase used to describe cocaine addict George W. Bush.

Photo credit: MS Paint

There was also this thing:

A 1972 Strike-Reconnaissance Aircraft

And these things:

Edward Junior examines another plane.

A WWI-era flying prole-vaporizer

While frolicking in the field of planes, your correspondent and his son witnessed this:

After about an hour we decided to go home and play Minecraft.

In the museum’s parking lot we crossed paths with an elderly gentleman on a motorized scooter who was blasting Fleetwood Mac from an ancient cassette player.

Russia.

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