Sputnik V blocks Edward on Twitter!
#SnowflakeV
Although it is futile, we typically tweet our articles out into the dark internet abyss in hopes that one day, maybe hundreds of years from now, an important thought leader like Katy Perry will see them and share them with her 10 billion adoring fans. Will this ever happen? No, but a boy can dream. We have 500 Twitter followers.
From time to time we will even tweet our blog posts “at” specific people or organizations. For example, on December 28 we tweeted “Sputnik V: What you’re not being told” at the official Twitter account of Russia’s flagship COVID vaccine, Sputnik V.
We genuinely thought Sputnik V would be interested in learning about what it wasn’t being told about itself.
As it turns out, Sputnik V was not interested.
Minutes ago we were researching how effective Sputnik V was against the Festive Pumpkin Spice variant, only to find out that Russia’s clot-shot had blocked us, Edward Slavsquat, on Twitter. Completely and totally blocked!
This is devastating. Now we will have to switch over to our alt account—which takes approximately 10 seconds—to continue our Sputnik Twitter browsing.
We feel suffocated by guilt and regret. If only we could turn back the clock—if only we had another chance to make things right—we would have shared a different article with Sputnik V, the one about how the Gamaleya Center looks like a condemned drug den.
We continue to get checkmated by the Russian government’s 5D chess moves. Getting blocked by Sputnik V is even more humiliating than receiving a strongly worded email from Moscow’s Transport Authority.
Whatever you do, don’t read or share “Sputnik V: What you’re not being told”. And under no circumstances would it be appropriate to tweet that article at @sputnikvaccine. Do not do that.
#JusticeForSlavsquat, #SnowflakeV.
(You know what to do.)
If you'll continue this way, Edward, soon you'll not just be blocked on Twitter by Gamaleya Institute, you'll make it to the list of the "enemies of the people" by RT among some of the finest in Russian society, like actress Maria Shukshina or professor Gundarov. This would be an honor!
Congrats!