No, Putin did not ban 5G. Sorry about that

And I am so very sorry that I have to type this

Aug 08, 2023

Mikulov’s famous 5G tower. Inside the tower is wine.

Some people are not fond of 5G, because its powerful radio waves (or whatever; I’m not a scientist) could be harnessed by our beloved governments to usher in Skynet, and to murder all the birds—or so some people claim.

And so it is not surprising to your Moravia correspondent that some people expressed joy and gratitude when a “report” emerged claiming that Vladimir Putin banned 5G and ordered the military to dismantle all 5G towers in the Russian Federation.

The “report” in question is from Real Raw News, which is famous for its legitimate journalism. Here is an excerpt from this very serious and fact-filled article that was shared 1 trillion times on Facebook, proving beyond a reasonable doubt that Putin is waging a 5D shadow war against 5G:

The information in this article comes thanks to FSB Agent Andrei Zakharov, who in 2022 supplied Real Raw News with the real reasons behind Vladimir Putin’s Special Operation in Ukraine—to rid Eastern Europe of foreign Biolabs, pedophile rings, and Adrenochrome laboratories. Those battles are still being fought.

This is the same Mr. Zakharov, head of the FSB’s fearsome Directorate of Realness and Rawness, who informed Real Raw News—and only Real Raw News, which is very real and insanely raw—that Putin destroyed all the COVID clot-shots in Russia, and executed the scientists who invented them. Your Moravia correspondent wrote about this Real and Raw Game-Changer. Maybe you remember:

I am typing on my “pad” in the South Moravia Region, and yet there are some people with desktop computers who are not wandering the hills of the South Moravia Region, and can browse the internet at their leisure, but also somehow believe Putin massacred all the 5G towers?

Did these individuals wonder why there was not a single mainstream Russian media report about this Game-Changer? Did they consider that if Putin blew up all the 5G towers, there would be many, many news reports about this?

Did they know that there are maps showing the 5G networks in Russia? Hey look, Moscow’s Sheremetyevo airport has 5G. It’s a very fancy airport.

Yes, Russia’s 5G rollout has run into roadblocks because of sanctions. But if Moscow is now best friends forever with Beijing, I seriously doubt Russia will abandon its 5G ambitions. But that’s just my personal opinion. Who knows? Tomorrow the entire internet could explode—and wouldn’t that be wonderful?

In the meantime: Putin did not ban 5G. There are 5G networks in Russia.

I would just like to know why a Hobbit sleeping under trees in the South Moravia Region needs to point this out?

No matter. Have a glorious Tuesday, internet friend.