Meanwhile in Russian supermarket in Germany there are so many fine sodas like Tarkhun, Kvas, Buratino...
Well I hope one of those new cool sodas at least gives you 98.420% protection from the new monkey thingy. I'm sure "Fancy" would sell big in the west, since everyones obsessed with blue-yellow color schemes now.
Well, I stand corrected. The laughs offered by this hilarious article were well worth the risk to your life and the minor dental corrosion I suspect you sustained by entering into this foolhardy experiment.
Hmmm.... my national pride has kicked in :) the knockoff sodas of my childhood were yummy (and potentially much healthier than Coca Cola and Pepsi... which, to be fair, is not difficult. From what I remember, collectors of coins used Pepsi as a sure way to clean old coins from built-up whatever... but I could also be confusing things... but i do remember the sodas allegedly (vague memory) made from herbs and spring water.... they were in fact tasty (not so vague memory), and I am just going to assume they were really made from herbs and spring water. just going to assume that. :)))
maybe you are thinking of дюшес? (https://storum.ru/catalog/90723). Traditional Russian beverages are great (I love kvass). This Cool Cola stuff though... it's just Coke. ie, it's gross))
I was thinking this one https://storum.ru/catalog/90732?brand_id=470. I think it was the green stuff although I might be confusing things. We didn't have soda all the time, maybe birthday parties.
Again, for the sake of intellectual integrity, I don't know how pure they were (after all, people were surely stealing) but most likely, still a lot healthier than Coca Cola. Now probably same crap.
And home made kvas is good. The kvas they were selling.. meh. But home made, really good!
You should try authentic Jamu once, I could drink a bottle a day depending on where [meaning Java, and not even everywhere there] and who made it. They should try Jamu in Russia, not Coca-Cola crap.
[J]amu is a very valuable beverage that has traditionally been made since the ancestral era. This drink has played an important role in maintaining the health and fitness of the people. Jamu is used as an herbal drink to maintain health and cure various diseases. It’s estimated that this tradition existed since 1300 AD.
There are many types of Jamu. Considering that Indonesia has quite a lot of herbal plants. Each region has a different type of herbal medicine. Thus, the variant of jamu is based on the types of herbal plants that grow in the area.
The word Jamu comes from the ancient Javanese language, namely jampi or usodo. It has the meaning of healing using medicinal herbs or prayers. The term jampi is often found in ancient manuscripts. Such as the Gatotkacasraya manuscript written by Mpu Panuluh from the Kingdom of Kediri during the reign of King Jayabaya.
Making jamu is a simple process. Most of them only take the juice from the herbal plant’s extraction. There is also Jamu made by pounding the plants. Mostly, Jamu is made from turmeric, temulawak, galangal, ginger, kencur, and cinnamon. Java sugar, rock sugar, and lime are usually used to add fresh and sweet aftertaste.
[...] etc.
Uniquely, while making Jamu, you have to pay attention to the dose of each ingredient, temperature, duration of mashing or boiling, any similar process. If not, you will lose the efficacy of the ingredients. Also, there is even a possibility that it could harm your body.
One too many paragraphs slipped in after "etc." But while we're at it, drinking too much water or too fast can also be bad for your health, oh poor us. :^)
That said, I now I wish I could read your review of imported cakes with a 300000000-year shelf life that came to my old homeland when the Soviet Union collapsed... they were considered a delicacy! (I am scared to even think about them today)
Seriously, when was the last time you had a coke? Are you trying to compare shit with shit? Fanta only applies as an alternative in case you were forced to drink aftershave or hair lotion, provided then that it is cold. And Sprite is acceptable for making panachés in case you don't have 7Up, or for mixing with Soju. Are you sure all the marbles are in place for you?
[Putin] "The pessimist was drinking cognac [unlikely cognac, brandy!, cognac production falls under French appellation d'origine contrôlée] and said, 'This smells like bedbugs!' The optimist grabbed a bedbug from the wall, sniffed it and said, 'Well, doesn’t this smell a bit like cognac!'" [Putin] "I’d rather be a pessimist who drinks cognac, than an optimist who sniffs bedbugs. Even if the optimist lives a little more happily…"
“Street”? Bad choice. they should’ve named it “Spirit.” It’s got the “sp” at the beginning and a sprite is a spirit. As in, a fairy. Did these guys even hire a marketing company before branding their knock-off swill? 😀
Meanwhile in Russian supermarket in Germany there are so many fine sodas like Tarkhun, Kvas, Buratino...
Well I hope one of those new cool sodas at least gives you 98.420% protection from the new monkey thingy. I'm sure "Fancy" would sell big in the west, since everyones obsessed with blue-yellow color schemes now.
Cela fait des années que je n'ai pas autant ri!
Un vrai fou rire!
Vous devriez vous faire humoriste, vous auriez un réél succès... mais vous nous apporteriez moins!
J'ai vu que "rynok" est une place. Je n'ai pas compris. Il y a peut-être un jeu de mots? J'aurais voulu déguster le texte jusqu"à la fin !
рынок (market, marché)
ры being short for рыба (fish) I guess.
нок? Doesn't look like any jeu de mots there.
it's not specific to fish. it's like a giant market with vendors where you can buy almost anything. Sort of like a Russian bazaar.
From German Ring: a ring (on a finger), a central public square in a medieval city (esp. in Silesia).
Is Ishmailovo still going?
yes, I believe so
Thanks.
mother in laws, what would you do without em?
Well done! Your mother-in-law gave you a great ending. Your ability to see it and put it to words is a gift.
Your recent pieces on the WHO are spot on but this is my favorite read of the month.
I tell my wife of the amazing things going on in the world and she replies; "That's interesting. Did you take out the trash?"
Another talent of Edward's discovered. Perhaps as a sidetrack career he can start a "Beverage Rating Institute"! I'm only kinda joking)))
Well, I stand corrected. The laughs offered by this hilarious article were well worth the risk to your life and the minor dental corrosion I suspect you sustained by entering into this foolhardy experiment.
Well played, Edward!
Well played.
Thank you for this post, it had me in stitches :)
so beautifully written. "existential dread" induced by cola. I guffawed in solidarity.
Saved and indexed.
Made me smile.
Marvellous, thank you. Cheered me up no end.
Hmmm.... my national pride has kicked in :) the knockoff sodas of my childhood were yummy (and potentially much healthier than Coca Cola and Pepsi... which, to be fair, is not difficult. From what I remember, collectors of coins used Pepsi as a sure way to clean old coins from built-up whatever... but I could also be confusing things... but i do remember the sodas allegedly (vague memory) made from herbs and spring water.... they were in fact tasty (not so vague memory), and I am just going to assume they were really made from herbs and spring water. just going to assume that. :)))
maybe you are thinking of дюшес? (https://storum.ru/catalog/90723). Traditional Russian beverages are great (I love kvass). This Cool Cola stuff though... it's just Coke. ie, it's gross))
I was thinking this one https://storum.ru/catalog/90732?brand_id=470. I think it was the green stuff although I might be confusing things. We didn't have soda all the time, maybe birthday parties.
Again, for the sake of intellectual integrity, I don't know how pure they were (after all, people were surely stealing) but most likely, still a lot healthier than Coca Cola. Now probably same crap.
And home made kvas is good. The kvas they were selling.. meh. But home made, really good!
You should try authentic Jamu once, I could drink a bottle a day depending on where [meaning Java, and not even everywhere there] and who made it. They should try Jamu in Russia, not Coca-Cola crap.
Addendum,
*All* :,( You Need to Know About Jamu, Indonesian Herbal Beverages
https://expatlifeindonesia.com/all-you-need-to-know-about-jamu-indonesian-herbal-beverages/
[J]amu is a very valuable beverage that has traditionally been made since the ancestral era. This drink has played an important role in maintaining the health and fitness of the people. Jamu is used as an herbal drink to maintain health and cure various diseases. It’s estimated that this tradition existed since 1300 AD.
There are many types of Jamu. Considering that Indonesia has quite a lot of herbal plants. Each region has a different type of herbal medicine. Thus, the variant of jamu is based on the types of herbal plants that grow in the area.
The word Jamu comes from the ancient Javanese language, namely jampi or usodo. It has the meaning of healing using medicinal herbs or prayers. The term jampi is often found in ancient manuscripts. Such as the Gatotkacasraya manuscript written by Mpu Panuluh from the Kingdom of Kediri during the reign of King Jayabaya.
Making jamu is a simple process. Most of them only take the juice from the herbal plant’s extraction. There is also Jamu made by pounding the plants. Mostly, Jamu is made from turmeric, temulawak, galangal, ginger, kencur, and cinnamon. Java sugar, rock sugar, and lime are usually used to add fresh and sweet aftertaste.
[...] etc.
Uniquely, while making Jamu, you have to pay attention to the dose of each ingredient, temperature, duration of mashing or boiling, any similar process. If not, you will lose the efficacy of the ingredients. Also, there is even a possibility that it could harm your body.
One too many paragraphs slipped in after "etc." But while we're at it, drinking too much water or too fast can also be bad for your health, oh poor us. :^)
That said, I now I wish I could read your review of imported cakes with a 300000000-year shelf life that came to my old homeland when the Soviet Union collapsed... they were considered a delicacy! (I am scared to even think about them today)
Thank you for the laugh, Riley!
Coca-Cola is apparently excellent as a toilet cleaner for removing rust stains and the like...
Seriously, when was the last time you had a coke? Are you trying to compare shit with shit? Fanta only applies as an alternative in case you were forced to drink aftershave or hair lotion, provided then that it is cold. And Sprite is acceptable for making panachés in case you don't have 7Up, or for mixing with Soju. Are you sure all the marbles are in place for you?
"Are you trying to compare shit with shit?" ...... that's the joke.
A joke in Putin's style?
[Putin] "The pessimist was drinking cognac [unlikely cognac, brandy!, cognac production falls under French appellation d'origine contrôlée] and said, 'This smells like bedbugs!' The optimist grabbed a bedbug from the wall, sniffed it and said, 'Well, doesn’t this smell a bit like cognac!'" [Putin] "I’d rather be a pessimist who drinks cognac, than an optimist who sniffs bedbugs. Even if the optimist lives a little more happily…"
“Street”? Bad choice. they should’ve named it “Spirit.” It’s got the “sp” at the beginning and a sprite is a spirit. As in, a fairy. Did these guys even hire a marketing company before branding their knock-off swill? 😀
In the Roman alphabet I note.
Oh wow. I think I'll stick to making import-substitution sodas at home. Using 100% natural ingredients of course.
Russia have replaced U.S made cancer in a bottle with home made cancer in a bottle how clever of them.