Greetings. Here are some photos of Edward HQ, located in a village in Novgorod Oblast (it’s a very special village and I will be acquainting you with its inhabitants, its happenings, its goings, its cows and its samogon, in the nearest future):
Maybe you noticed a nice dog in that last photo. Her name is Nika. She’s a nice village dog who has been following me around for the last seven days. You will learn more about her in the upcoming exclusive blog post, “The adventures of Edward & Nika.”
While collecting wood in my woodshed I picked up a certain thing (pictured above). It’s not a piece of wood. It’s a mummified animal.
My throne room (pictured above) was designed by a celebrated 18th-century French Rococo architect. This is the room where I greet my vanquished blog-enemies, who crawl towards me, kiss my manure-stained boots, and beg for blog-forgiveness. Then they squirm in reverse—making sure to keep eye contact with me—directly into my mummified saber-toothed tiger (?). Sometimes I also play Sudoku here.
There’s also a spacious basement but I can’t show it to you because I’m digging a highly illegal tunnel to a nearby lake. It’s funny that you think I’m joking.
More soon!
Please stop being naive, this is not some charming dacha of a good citizen Edward. American citizen Edward is an American sleeper agent who was supposed sit on his hands in an old safe house in Russia, await further instruction. Unfortunately a local homebrew was stronger than his resolve to serve United States and he posted publicly these pictures, ruining the Sunday barbecue of his handler Bob in Pentagon. Expect some Jason Bourne level car chase soon..
this screams 'potential'!!