Circus performer-turned-Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky is begging NATO to launch “preemptive” strikes against Russia—a fun comedy routine that could very possibly turn us all into ash. [UPDATE: Kiev insists Zelensky’s comments were taken out of context. Okay. Anyway, Biden is talking about nuclear Armageddon. So there’s that…]
Okay, fine—vaporize the proles—but maybe Zelensky should first stop accepting delicious rubles to transit Russian gas across Ukraine? That seems like a prudent and reasonable prerequisite before triggering a nuclear holocaust with Moscow.
Something isn’t right here, friends. Let’s briefly review the current state of affairs.
The proles get vaporized while the oligarchs make bank
A few weeks ago Zelensky pooped out a fiery statement promising that Ukraine would rather go without gas than find common ground with Russia.
Inspiring words, especially coming from someone who is getting paid by Gazprom to transport Russian gas across his territory—an arrangement that has remained undisturbed despite seven months of war:
In early August the Kremlin wagged its finger at Zelensky for condemning Russia as an aggressor while simultaneously taking money to transit Russian gas.
Fair point, but of course it works both ways: Why is Moscow bankrolling the “Ukrainian Nazis”? Russia is purportedly fighting for its existence against the Collective West, but still merrily pumps gas across Ukraine? Is this OK?
And while ordinary Russians have to navigate 10,000+ sanctions, and are cut off from SWIFT, there’s no issue with depositing yummy rubles into Kiev’s coffers:
As Military Review (Russia’s most popular military news portal) wrote on September 20:
Russia continues to regularly pay Ukraine for the transit of gas to Europe, which means that the money from the Russian budget goes straight to the enemy’s purchase of weapons, protective equipment, medicines and other tools for combat operations.
There were no changes to this apparently mutually beneficial arrangement a day after partial mobilization was announced on September 21:
Ukrainians and Russians have been mobilized to destroy each other, but their governments can still put aside their differences and find common ground for… gas transit? Fascinating. What could this possibly mean?
Maybe the solution to the conflict in Ukraine is to turn the entire country into one massive gas pipeline? No more shelling, bombing or shooting—that would be bad for gas transit, after all.
(Edward Slavsquat nominates Natalie for the Nobel Peace Prize.)
Our rulers play by different rules
On February 25—a day after Russian tanks rolled into Ukraine—the excellent Russian news outlet Nakanune.ru published an op-ed warning that the conflict would lead to something “worse than a civil war”, and that Washington, NATO, and the CIA would likely enjoy a celebratory “two-month drinking binge” after successfully dragging Ukraine and Russia to war:
The events in Ukraine are, of course, very dramatic. I do not quite understand it, and even more so I do not share the euphoria that even the most active propagandists demonstrate, because this is the tragedy of one people. … The situation is catastrophic, because it is not clear at all in the name of what the people should smash each other’s skulls.
I have a feeling that the Ukrainians will fight and die for the yachts of the Kolomoiskys, and the Russian guys for the yachts of the Abramovichs. And this is very sad.
Igor Kolomoisky—the creepy oligarch who funded Ukraine’s psycho punitive battalions and bankrolled Zelensky’s farcical rise to power—is doing just fine. When can we expect a Kinzhal to land on this guy’s oligarch-condo? Ha-ha.
Fellow rich guy Roman Abramovich recently made headlines after playing a “key part” in securing the release of five British prisoners of war—part of a POW exchange in which 200 (mostly) Azov fighters (including the regiment’s commander) were traded for 50 Russian troops….and oligarch/Putin friend Viktor Medvedchuk.
Wait, what happened to “denazifying Ukraine” and holding “international tribunals” in Mariupol to bring these accused neo-Nazis and terrorists to justice?
Undoubtedly, Abramovich organized this head-scratcher in hopes of unshackling his bounteous assets from western sanctions. And it’s very sporting of the Russian government to put Abramovich’s selfish interests ahead of one of the stated core objectives of Russia’s SMO (“denazification”). But surely this friendly oligarch is worthy of such charity? After all, he’s a true patriot.
After the sinking of the Moskva in April, South Front somberly noted that Abramovich’s fanciest yacht was more pricey than the most expensive warship built by Russia over the last twenty years.
“The degree of shortsightedness and corruption of the Russian elite, which spends millions of dollars received from the sale of Russian natural resources not to modernize the armed forces, but to satisfy its own desires, [also needs to be] mentioned,” South Front wrote on April 15.
(Abramovich’s yacht-fleet has so far managed to avoid trouble with international authorities. What a fortunate guy.)
Two weeks later, Russian outlet Regnum revealed that several Ukrainian oligarchs who were sponsoring Kiev’s war effort still had lucrative ruble-making operations inside Russia.
Why are oligarchs allowed to play both sides while the proles get flattened into tiny crêpes? Curious proles want to know—especially after seven months of non-stop prole-flattening.
“The ones we should be fighting will live on”
Every fresh body bag (assuming the corpse makes it home) brings more despair, hopelessness and generational hatred. Is this the way forward? And how can any of this be necessary if it’s business as usual for the untouchable elite of both warring parties?
If only we had listened to Lugansk rebel commander Aleksey Mozgovoy:
I'd like to appeal to everyone who is fighting—on both sides. People on both sides are fighting against the oligarchy. But somehow we only kill each other, ourselves. So we’re committing a slow suicide of sorts.
The “gladiators” need to break out from the “Colosseum”. Instead, a new Colosseum is being organized. We’re burying ourselves. Do we need it all? War for the sake of war? It’s stupid.
Does anyone remember why we have rebelled? Isn’t it clear that the ones we rose up against are ruling us now? For both sides. Isn’t it time for us to come to our senses, military gentlemen? Otherwise, there won’t be a single one of us left.
And the ones we should be fighting against…they will be living on. Without problems. And everything’s going to be as it was before.
So I appeal one more time: start thinking. Your brain should be working, not your grenade launcher. That’s when there will be order. While the guns are working, there will only be deaths.
Or, if you prefer, Tolstoy:
AGAIN war. Again sufferings, necessary to nobody, utterly uncalled for; again fraud; again the universal stupefaction and brutalization of men. Men who are separated from each other by thousands of miles, hundreds of thousands of such men … like wild beasts on land and on sea are seeking out each other, in order to kill, torture, and mutilate each other in the most cruel way. What can this be? Is it a dream or a reality? Something is taking place which should not, cannot be; one longs to believe that it is a dream and to awake from it. But no, it is not a dream, it is a dreadful reality! […]
But how can so-called enlightened men preach war, support it, participate in it, and, worst of all, without suffering the dangers of war themselves, incite others to it, sending their unfortunate defrauded brothers to fight? These so-called enlightened men cannot possibly ignore, I do not say the Christian law, if they recognize themselves to be Christians, but all that has been written, is being written, has and is being said, about the cruelty, futility, and senselessness of war.
By all means—cheer for Zelensky’s (out-of-context?) nuclear wet dreams, or military escalation in Ukraine, or whatever. Your correspondent is a Substack blogger—the lowest form of human life—so we aren’t in a position to pass judgment. But just don’t be surprised if, in the end, we all lose…except for the ones we should have been fighting.
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Edward, great piece. It's those bastards here, there, and EVERYWHERE we should be fighting. They are the globalists and they are legion! Everyone of them from the Rothschilds who own the Bank and City of London to Wall Street on down to pricks like Gates, Musk and ilk all over the globe. But, it's always been that way hasn't it? Young boys fighting rich men's war for profit and greed.
It's all theatre!