A massive victory for SAFETY in Russia
Convenience is also on the rise
Readers of the blog know that Russian authorities stay up late every night brainstorming ways to make things more safe and convenient. It’s their top priority. You might even say it’s what they crave.
The very thought that someone might not be completely safe, or might be very slightly inconvenienced, is hateful to these saintly public servants. It’s probably the same in your own country, which is undoubtedly governed by the same breed of selfless cattle ranchers. We are lucky to live in the best of all possible worlds.
Taking into account all of the facts I just listed above, it’s hardly surprising that the Immortal Regiment—an international event in which people are invited to mark Victory Day (May 9) by marching through the streets with photographs of relatives who participated in the Great Patriotic War—will not take place in Russia (again).
The march has been canceled nationwide due to “existing threats to public safety.” Instead, Russians are invited to tape photographs to their cars or share the portraits of their relatives on social networks. Yup.
The Great Patriotic War is Russia’s civic religion. Before the Immortal Regiment became Unsafe and Inconvenient, around a million Muscovites would fill the streets of Russia’s capital on May 9 to honor their veteran-ancestors.
This is no longer Safe, though.
Coincidentally, less than a month ago, on April 10, hundreds of thousands of Muslim worshippers poured into the streets of Moscow for Eid al-Fitr.
Authorities “recommended” that Muslims stay home and watch religious services on the internet (“for the convenience of believers”). This “recommendation” was ignored, of course. Thankfully, there were plenty of national guardsmen and OMON on duty to protect against any trouble-making. Too bad it can’t always be that way.
But why is it that Muslim worshippers are given a recommendation, while anyone with a relative who fought in the Great Patriotic War—i.e, the entire population of the Russian Federation—was issued an order?
Is it really so dangerous to walk down the street holding a photograph? Are things really that bad in Russia? If so, why did authorities allow hundreds of thousands of Muslims to congregate in the streets just three weeks ago? DOES THE RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT NOT CARE ABOUT MUSLIM LIVES? HASHTAG MUSLIM LIVES MATTER.
Also: Please keep in mind that Moscow is one of the most heavily surveilled cities on our pale blue landfill, Earth.
In conclusion: After two years of fighting the Nazi Satanists in Ukraine, Russians are prohibited from walking down the street in honor of their Nazi-fighting ancestors.
Just obey. We know best. Daddy is always looking after you. Don't worry yourself over these seemingly inconsistent details. How could a cow know the mind of a rancher?
"Online march" sounds just as ridiculous as "social distancing". And this whole thing is beyond sad.