76 Comments
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Dave Wise (Neoteric Wood Art)'s avatar

There isn't enough vodka or hookah smoke in all of Asia to make me want to endure that kind of frigid cold. I'm old, my bones ache from merely looking at those pictures. BRRRRR Sorry. Best of luck to you younger folks, I'll just site here in the US and watch as our own evil Empire crumbles around me. I'll survive on outdated MRE's and well water I schlep in from another town.

Edward Slavsquat's avatar

But we need your magnificent carpentry skills. You will be convinced. With time, with time...

Dave Wise (Neoteric Wood Art)'s avatar

Will there be luge lessons in Rangoon, or a Zoroastrian named Wilma? I might be convinced to go, especially if you served pepperoni pizza for those fleeting moments my good behavior.

RegretLeft's avatar

Current temperature (2/15 13:30 EST) is 3 degrees F (-16 C) - but a warming trend is forecast - mid 20s F by the end of next week. Worried about snow reflection sunburn during your 10 mile daily X-country ski excursions? Not a problem! Days are forecast to be completely overcast through the period.

Dave Wise (Neoteric Wood Art)'s avatar

"Current temperature (2/15 13:30 EST) is 3 degrees F (-16 C) - but a warming trend is forecast"

...to 2,500°F for a few seconds if a senile bastard in the District of Criminals starts World War Pt. III.

Pirate Studebaker's avatar

I like your plan and your style. God Bless.

peggy bean's avatar

I've been patiently waiting for a post like this! I would love to visit Russia and then jet down to Morocco to visit Kevin! Oh such dreams I have. Blessings to you dear truth warrior!

Edward Slavsquat's avatar

We can make it happen. Step-by-step instructions coming soon!

Dieter Honboffer's avatar

Will we be able to get on all the various "lists"? I think I'm safely on the five eyes list, but I'm concerned that the SBU and FSB may not be interested. Is that part of the deal potentially?

Lynda Hill's avatar

Can't stop the smile on my face with reading and thinking about this post....thank you .

Simon Gruffydd Foster's avatar

Ugly kitchen stove but apart from that the house looks quite tidy.

No plumbing? I live on a hill, collect rain water in 2,000 litre containers, and then it's gravity fed through the house. Don't know if that would work for you.

BTW, if the wallpaper is difficult to remove, just paint over it. Nobody will know.

P.S. If you can't get a flushing toilet installed prepare to live alone for the rest of your life.

Sonja's avatar

The kitchen stove is the best part. It is homemade.

Grail Arts's avatar

The stove just needs some tile.

Rhiannon's avatar

Thanks for the song you posted----I find it wistfully optimistic.

Elliott Middleton's avatar

You amazing, Riley.

Edward Slavsquat's avatar

That is very kind of you, Elliott. Thanks for reading!

Elliott Middleton's avatar

I suggest you get a Ko-fi account so pensioners like me can throw you a bone every once in a while.

Thumbnail Green's avatar

Yes for me too! My pronouns are Giver/Taker.

Btw if my existential mid life crisis keeps going I will inform my wife and 2 boys I’m going to Russia for a month of summer to cut wood and milk Guinea pigs.

xpuc's avatar

Good bones boil into good broth!

Laz's avatar

Do you actually own this, or is it a case of a slav doing a squat?

P.S. Good luck with those baseball cards. Personally, I think it's wiser to turn your fiat dollars into gold and/or silver. 🙂

Edward Slavsquat's avatar

The property is mine. This is the real deal.

I will never get rid of these baseball cards.

Gavin Mounsey's avatar

I will trade you 31 million dollars worth of food for each baseball card (which will take the form of one handful each of Red Russian Kale and Goji Berry seeds for each baseball card).

As noted in the following articles..

https://gavinmounsey.substack.com/p/the-best-investment-on-earth-is-earth

https://gavinmounsey.substack.com/p/seed-saving-season-is-here

Those seeds would contain the equivalent latent value of millions of dollars worth of food when they are invested appropriately into the living economy of the Earth

That is my final offer! ;)

Pill Giigle's avatar

So you now live in a house which has no bathroom?

Irunthis1's avatar

Yeah at least the other one had that lovely wooden contemplation area for “business” purposes. However, I wasn’t given the impression he sold his other home, just bought a second one to show those villagers just who is king of villagers and to make his school..😉

Pill Giigle's avatar

Either way, he's taking his job very seriously. Buying a house there without plumbing to report on Russia.

OnTheJump's avatar

Many of mine found their way between the spokes of a bicycle.....at least YOU gave thought to "investment potential."

GL selling 'em.....what IS the market for MLB cards in Russia, anyway ??

Andrea's avatar

My grandmother used to strengthen her infant son, my father, against the cold by putting him outside in it (bundled up, of course) for his daily fresh air and/or nap time. He always had a high tolerance for cold and low tolerance for heat. I guess today that would be considered child abuse by American doctors/psychologists.

Anyway, I wish I could beam myself there for a paid visit. I would consider it as a future trip. This year is already committed to Sicily.

I love what you’ve done and am living vicariously through you at this point.

Edward Slavsquat's avatar

The village doors are always open to you!

xpuc's avatar

Amer drs and psychs? Please no nonsense on substack😭🤣😂

Zonder Reden's avatar

Awesome story. Thanks for the glimpse in Russian life, what it can be. And the song is cool!

OnTheJump's avatar

This dacha appears to be an upgrade vs. Dacha #1.

Consider yourself institutionalized. Planting season is coming....enjoy!

Markker's avatar

Looks very promising, I will subscribe!

Humdeedee's avatar

"demon possessed wallpaper" ahhhh, Riley, your wry humor is like balm to my sorely tried spirit.

Edward Slavsquat's avatar

More spirit pep pills coming your way. Thanks for reading!

Humdeedee's avatar

I only quoted one pep pill in this article - there were many and as I came to the end, my spirit was much buoyed, a smile graced my face and I congratulated myself for being a paid subscriber and you for deserving it. Thanks for writing🙏

kapock's avatar

For the look on my face upon reading this news, imagine Ralph Richardson in “Doctor Zhivago” when he learns “they’ve shot the czar, and all his family.”

Bonus David Lean film reference: “The best of them won’t come for the banya; they’ll come for Nika.”

Edward Slavsquat's avatar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdSz8WsNSYY

“The best of them won’t come for the banya; they’ll come for Nika.” -- I'm adopting this as the Institute's official slogan. Thank you, sir.

kapock's avatar

Long life to you both

Green Fields's avatar

Wonderful.

Hi Nika - and who's the boyfriend at the door?

David's avatar

Did you ever do a post on how a foreigner might buy property in Russia? Looks like a good bolt hole

Sonja's avatar

Anyone can buy it. My American friend bought an apartment in Moscow. He also has a job there. But strangely, he does not have Russian permanent residency and has to reapply for a visa every six months.

Helen Strilec Schatiloff's avatar

When will registration open?

Edward Slavsquat's avatar

we should be ready for visitors by late spring/early summer. In the coming weeks i'll be writing more about how to visit us. But you are always welcome to email me (check the about page on the blog for contact info) if you are interested in checking out the village and want more information!

best

riley