I've inherited a lifetime supply of "Peasant Woman" magazine

Look at all these goodies from my village attic

Stimulating reading material for the outhouse

There was no Weekly News Roundup & Open Thread yesterday. This is because I was exploring the attic and barn-area of Edward Manor. Everyone should stop reading the news, anyway. It’s bad for our noodles. I believe it was Hank Thoreau who famously said, “Read not the Times, read the Eternities—but also read Edward Slavsquat; that guy’s alright.”

Instead of a news roundup I will share with you the fruits of my Sunday labor.

Let’s start with the attic treasure and move downwards from there.

I found a handsome chest lined with very old Soviet newspaper and a sign that reads, “DO NOT SMOKE WHEN REFUELING CHAINSAWS”. That’s some very good free advice from my attic.

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The newspaper is from 1953:

There was an even larger and more handsome chest…

… which I moved to the Edward Institute using my supernatural Hobbit strength and a wheelbarrow that I borrowed from my neighbor.

Nika also helped.

Inside the chest was some kind of chemical fertilizer or something? Perfect timing because I urgently need to plant onions today.

A wood crate contained a stack of magazines from the 1960s, including my all-time favorite periodical, “Peasant Woman”.

Maybe a better translation is “Countrywoman” or “Rural Madame”? You get the idea, though. It was a magazine for hearty Soviet ladies who knew their way around an udder.

The barn contained two beautiful wood barrels:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone had a wood barrel.

Astute readers might have observed a cart in the above photograph. That’s also from my barn. No more insane water-hauling for Edward. New technological advances have allowed him to pull his water.

I also poked around my basement. There wasn’t much down there but it’s the perfect location for a covert tunneling operation.

As I mentioned earlier, some of this loot was transferred to the Institute. Which means that you—yes, really, you—will have the opportunity to read “Peasant Woman” and open and close my nice chest.

I also found some stuffed animals, which I donated to the puppies.

That’s all for now. The next Institute dispatch will probably be about my adventures in abandoned village buildings; or maybe I will tell you about the time when I was stranded on a cranberry bog in the middle of a giant lake. That happened last week.

Now I have cranberry PTSD.

Edward relaxing with a puppy after a long day of treasure hunting