Moscow joins the global war on carbon

"Collective measures" will help Russia achieve "carbon neutrality" by 2060

Carbon: Not even once.

On October 26, Russian President Vladimir Putin approved a new and improved Climate Doctrine, which states that the Russian Federation will achieve carbon neutrality no later than 2060. For comparison, the EU promises to be carbon-neutral by 2050.

Here are some highlights from Putin’s ambitious climate decree:

Moscow will neutralize all the carbon!

In Section I, the doctrine outlines Russia’s long-term climate-fantasy:

In the Russian Federation, active work is underway to creating conditions for the transition to a low-carbon economy. Within long-term socio-economic development of the Russian Federation is expected to be achieved taking into account national interests and priorities development no later than 2060 of the balance between anthropogenic emissions greenhouse gases and their absorption. To achieve this goal, defined additional measures to decarbonize economic sectors and increase absorption capacity of managed ecosystems.

Implementation of these measures will ensure that by 2030 the volume of greenhouse gas emissions is at the level of 1,673 million tons (54 percent of the 1990 level) and that the balance between anthropogenic greenhouse emissions gases and their absorption [“carbon neutrality”] will be reached no later than 2060.

Most of this word salad is just a rehash of previous international treaties/BRICS declarations signed by Moscow, but now it is official Russian policy!

Moscow will protect “the health of citizens” from the changing climate!

In Section II, “Goals, basic principles and objectives of climate policy”, we learn that climate change is an existential threat to public health.

The doctrine explains that “climate change has a significant, predominantly adverse impact on the socio-economic development of the state as a whole [and] on the life and health of its citizens.”

“Adverse consequences” of climate change include an increased “risk to the health of citizens (increasing the level of morbidity and mortality) belonging to individual social groups.”

Thankfully, the Russian government is committed to “ensuring sanitary and epidemiological well-being in a changing climate”.

What does this mean in plain Russian? Absolutely nobody knows.

But that’s neither here nor there. In order to counter the evil machinations of the climate, Russia’s climate policy will take into account the “indirect impact of climate change on … the population, including various social groups.”

The devious climate threatens Moscow’s sustainable development!

The Climate Doctrine lists climate change as a threat to the national security of the Russian Federation. Failing to adequately respond to this threat could result in “reputational risks” and setbacks to Moscow’s sustainable development goals! It’s true:

Climate change poses threats to the security of the Russian Federation. It is necessary to respond to these threats using means capable of providing the desired environmental and economic effects in the long term. […]

[R]eputational risks could arise from failure to take sufficient measures to combat climate change.

The document also calls for the “timely identification and assessment of climate change-related threats to sustainable development and security of the Russian Federation.”

Moscow will impose collective measures to flatten the carbon-curve!

Moscow understands the importance of international cooperation in the global war on carbon:

The Russian Federation participates in the development of collective measures among the international community to mitigate anthropogenic impacts on the climate and provides jointly with other members of the international community assistance to developing countries, including those most vulnerable to adverse impacts of climate change, in implementing measures to adaptation and mitigation of the adverse impacts of change climate.

At the same time, the Russian Federation proceeds from the fact that long-term and a comprehensive solution to the problem of climate change is only possible with participation of all states.

The document politely suggests that collective measures should be adopted in a “fair” and equitable way—putting the Collective West on notice (again)!

Moscow promises to educate Russians about carbon’s murderous ways, in keeping with world standards!

Once naively considered a building block of life, carbon has been shown in recent years to cause AIDS. Regrettably, most Russians don’t know about this and will have to be reeducated. In fact, a whole stable of carbon-hunting professionals will have to be trained and showered with rubles to ensure that Science prevails:

The development and implementation of measures for … the mitigation of the anthropogenic impact on the climate [requires] research and development in the field of climate studies and related areas corresponding to world standards.

For these purposes, [the Russian Federation will invest in] the training of specialists in the field of climate, studying the impact of climate on the economy, population and environment environment, as well as developing and adopting engineering and technical organizational measures for adaptation and mitigation of anthropogenic impact on climate, including:

a) training of highly qualified scientific personnel;

b) training of senior students of educational organizations higher education on the basis of leading scientific organizations of the state;

c) internship for the most gifted young scientists, specialists, graduate and senior students in the world's leading scientific centers;

d) training of diplomatic personnel, as well as professional consultants for international negotiations and preparation international climate agreements.

The doctrine explains that “all stakeholders” will need to be on the same page in order to guarantee the “effective implementation of climate policy in the interests of present and future generations.”

We will win the global war on poverty drugs terror Covid carbon! Carbon, you better watch out you little punk!

VILLAGE REPORT/OPEN THREAD/OTHER STUFF COMING THIS WEEK SORRY FOR THE DELAY, FRIENDS.