MUST-READ RUSSIA NEWS
All the GAME CHANGERS that happened while we were gone
Your correspondent is back in his natural habitat (his secret tunnel in rural Novgorod) after surviving another perilous expedition to the land of fake potato rum and cowboy LARPers.
But so much has happened in his absence.
Senior News Anchor Susan will get you up to speed on all the big stories from the past two weeks (100,000 Internet Years).
The Soyuz-26 spacecraft successfully launched. That’s huge.
Now for some local news.
By decree of President of the Russian Federation Boris Yeltsin, Novgorod Governor Mikhail Prusak was awarded the Order “For Merit to the Fatherland” II Degree in recognition of his outstanding democratic reforms.
Also some soldiers were sent to their deaths in Chechnya.
This just in: According to Peasant Woman magazine, new hairstyles have been discovered.
Meanwhile, Novgorod Pravda has an excellent frontpage story detailing the duties and responsibilities of animal breeders.
In addition, proletarians of all countries have been encouraged to unite.
In other news, Gazprom continues to supply gas to Europe via Ukraine in the amount of 42 million cubic meters per day. The gas is transited via the Sudzha gas metering station in Ukrainian-occupied Kursk.
Thank you to Senior News Anchor Susan for compiling this highly informative news roundup.
Have a nice day.
Amazing! Ukraine is blowing the hell out of Russia's energy infrastructure, and Russia is returning the favor in kind, but both sides manage to miss this huge pipeline, going from the frontline and traversing the entirety of Ukraine. Someone, somewhere, has been incredibly competent for the past two and a half years. Gerasimov is probably unaware, else the pipeline and transit stations would have been - accidentally (Oooops!) - blown to a flaming utter ruin...
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