Russian Fauci's income magically jumps 480%
Allegedly because of "real estate investments" and "previous savings". Ha-ha. Okay.
Alexander Gintsburg is possibly Russia’s favorite person. In opinion polls he consistently receives 10,000% approval—which, coincidentally, is the same percentage of effectiveness attributed to his unproven genetic slurry, Sputnik V.
What more can even be typed about this absolute legend? Your humble Moscow correspondent once penned a flowery bio for Gintsburg, which is now used on his official Wikipedia page:
Every Russian schoolchild learns about Alexander Gintsburg—the legendary scientist who eradicated Ebola in Ebola-free Guinea in 2017. Everywhere he goes, admirers lay flowers at his feet as they cry out, “Thank you for getting rid of all that nasty Ebola, Alexander Gintsburg!” and also: “Will you autograph my pericarditis?” For he is also the Father of Sputnik V—a minor footnote in his long illustrious career, which among other triumphs includes an embezzlement scandal, and also non-stop failure.
But in order to really understand Gintsburg you must carefully read and study his Clot-Shot Commandments. The world is chaotic and full of temptations but you will find inner peace (eternal cattle-tagged vax horror) in the teachings of Gintsburg. Read him, young scholar.
Anyway. How much money does this greasy fraud make?
In 2019, Gintsburg was compensated around 7.7 million rubles. This is very respectable money in Russia—especially for someone who, in 2019, added nothing of value to the world.
In 2020—the year when the Slurry Muse inspired him to create the safest, most effective and unproven genetic goo on earth in record-shattering time—Gintsburg raked in 18.3 million delicious rubles. Not bad.
Well, his stats for 2021 were recently made public and we’re very impressed. Last year, Gintsburg declared an income of 105.9 million rubles. That’s more than a 480% increase from 2020.
We would provide you with a USD equivalent but there is no point because the rate given by the Bank of Russia is totally different from actual market value. Just trust us though: 105.9 million rubles is a lot of money. It’s a HUGE amount of money in Russia. You could lick black caviar off the backside of a high-end escort every day for the rest of your life with that kind of cash. And that’s probably what Gintsburg is doing right now. Because he’s a freak.
But what caused this explosive jump in acquired rubles? According to his latest income statement, Gintsburg magically got super, super rich from real estate holdings and previously undeclared savings. Yes, okay:
Here’s the best part though: if you examine Gintsburg’s earnings in 2020, he has no extra income. Just his salary from his drug den research institute. Magically, over the course of 12 months, Gintsburg became a real estate tycoon:
Sounds legit.
By the way, was there ever a follow-up to that scandal where Gintsburg was purchasing “Sputnik V” from a mysterious manufacturer, using United States Dollars, and then selling this mystery-goo at a mark-up? Questions, questions.
Lately, Gintsburg has been shilling a completely unnecessary and untested nose-vax. This surprises no one.
Also, he has commanded Russians to continue getting vaxxed every six months, forever. In fact, he says it’s totally fine if you want to inject yourself with two boosters at the same time. Sure, why not? Who even cares anymore:
“…his long illustrious career, which among other triumphs includes an embezzlement scandal, and also non-stop failure.” Snorted my coffee right out my nose. Thank you for starting off my day with helpless giggling (and snorting).
If journalism ever fails you (which it won’t) comedy would be a great alternative. You’re very funny in these unfunny times.