Bludgeoning the proles with public health
The terror will continue until morale improves
Screams of anguish echoed through the streets of Russia after Gamaleya Center Director Alexander Gintsburg announced last month that his unproven genetic slurry had “stopped protecting completely” against the Dreaded Virus. The next day, Sputnik V was interred on Red Square in Lenin’s Masonic pyramid. Fifty million Russians waited patiently in an 80 mile-long queue so they could pay their final respects to their beloved, safe and effective AstraZeneca goo.
But then a miracle happened:
On November 8, Sputnik V emerged from its tomb with an efficacy of 90%! From zero to hero, to paraphrase the latest Science from the Gamaleya Center:
The effectiveness of the Sputnik V vaccine with its original antigenic composition against fatal cases of Covid infection is 90%, despite changes in the level of protection against infection due to the emergence of new variants of SARS-CoV-2. This was reported to TASS by [Gamaleya Center important person] Inna Dolzhikova, one of the developers of Sputnik V.
So … the guy who received the Order of Alexander Nevsky for inventing Sputnik V said that his genetic sludge was no match for New Mutations like the Double-Bad Mega Upsilon Variant, and that Russians would have to wait patiently for an “updated” vaccine set for release next year—but then a week later one of his underlings reassured TASS that Sputnik V was actually still safe and effective?
To the pea-brained layman who is not properly trained in Science, all of this sounds a bit confusing. What you don’t understand though is that measuring the effectiveness of an unproven dangerous medical experiment is a tricky business and sometimes the Effectiveness Measuring Tool isn’t properly calibrated. This is what happened exactly three years ago when Sputnik V’s effectiveness increased in order to match the fabricated data of competing clot shots.
On November 9, 2020, Pfizer revealed that interim trial data had shown its slurry to be more than 90% effective. Two days later, Gamaleya issued a statement (tweeted in CAPS LOCK) declaring Sputnik V was 92% effective.
Moderna followed with an exciting announcement on November 16: The Moderna goo was 95% effective!
A week later, Gamaleya reported that a “second interim analysis” of its data showed that actually, Sputnik V is also 95% effective:
Two weeks ago Gintsburg revealed that “from mid-summer 2022, when Omicron 1, 2 and 3 variants appeared, Sputnik V’s efficacy dropped eight times. When Omicron 4 and 5 appeared, efficiency dropped by a factor of 20”.
I know what a few of you—a handful of unwanted readers who are racist against Science—are thinking: How does a health-preserving substance go from 92% effective to 95% effective to 8x less effective to 20x less effective to zero percent effective back up to 90% effective over the course of three years?
Please, let’s not split hairs. Some of us are prematurely balding and need all our hairs intact.
But as a blogger it is my job to tell you what to think and so I will explain how this works, scientifically and mathematically. There is a loophole in what some might call “basic human decency and common sense”, and it’s called public health. 95% effective to 0% effective to 90% effective is public health. Cattle tags are public health. Leaving immobile elderly women suffering from Alzheimer’s to die in a pile of their own feces is public health. Eating pills that result in “toxic liver damage” is public health.
It doesn’t matter how retarded and anti-healthy these things are. They are public health and if you disagree you’re a menace to society and need to be locked up forever.
And thankfully this process of purging the anti-Science fascists is already happening in Russia.
For example, a young man was recently arrested in St. Petersburg for quietly protesting against Russia’s glorious justice system (Ramzan Kadyrov’s son beating up a Russian teenager who was extradited to Chechnya after setting fire to a copy of the Quran). This lone picketer was arrested for endangering public health by violating Covid restrictions that prohibit public gatherings. One guy. In a city full of people walking around doing stuff. Arrested. Because the Virus. Public health.
Then a few weeks later two gentlemen who were “distributing leaflets about helping the [Not-War] front” were detained, again because of public health:
Police disrupted a Limonov Party picket in St. Petersburg
Today, during a single picket from the National Bolsheviks party, Kirill Travkin was detained. Kirill stood with a flag and distributed leaflets about helping the front. National Bolshevik Semyon Debenok, who was nearby and did not take part in the picket, was also detained. The detainees were taken to the 78th police department of St. Petersburg.
The formal reason for Kirill’s detention was violation of covid restrictions (Article 8.6.1 of the Law on Administrative Offenses of St. Petersburg). Detaining a person at a patriotic event for allegedly spreading Covid, while many other public events are taking place in the city, is absurd. The formal reason for Semyon’s detention is not clear to us.
If you think it’s strange that two harmless pro-SMO Nazbol guys were arrested in St. Petersburg for spreading the Virus, you clearly don’t understand Russia. Anyone who is a millimeter to the Right of the Kremlin—or dares to meddle in politics in general—is considered an existential threat to the Russian State, which is actually just a group of oligarchs who like to kill Slavs for fun. (Thank you to Rurik Skywalker for alerting me to these shining examples of public health preservation.)
Where was I going with this? Oh right, public health. You can laugh or you can cry.
Until next time,
— Riley
In multipolar Russia, vaccine gets YOU!
Dangerous and effective (at killing)......as people realize they have been jabocided, they may be a bit upset...a bit.